So i have a million thoughts running through my mind these days.
About Labour
Babies
Birthing
Women
How to get them out in a succinct way? I'll start like this...
I was at a women's group full of mums the other day and i made the comment " I wish other women had talked more about birth to me before i had my baby". The reply came thick and fast " Would you really want to know about all that pain?" "People only tell their bad birth stories" "It would scare you way too much". The truth is i was really looking forward to labour with my first baby in that unprepared way that only a first time mother can be. But i thought "Why don't women tell their stories?". It's true that the most vocal are always relaying stories of inductions and 36 hour labours and horrible hospital experiences. Yet i find myself still asking, Why don't women tell their stories? Maybe we have medicalised and hospitalised birth so much that only the stories that are full of drama are worth the telling. What about the simple labours? the quick labours? the unexpected labours? the different, calm or beautiful labours? Where are the collective stories about them?
I am sick and tired of labour and women's sexuality being secret women's business.
In fact not even women really talk about these things so i guess it's more like secret woman business.
Birth is the pinnacle of a women's sexuality. Birth is the perfect expression of the love between a husband and a wife. Birth is about family. It needn't be hushed or swept under the carpet or left for a few women to discuss. It should be collective knowledge.
Listen men, rise up and be strong and take your god given place in the birthing experience.
Women, let's begin simply. Tell our stories......
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Actually, I have found that people talk about birth a lot. Maybe that, for me was a result of working with a large group of women, most mothers, and in women's health. Or the playgroup that I went to, where we all talked about birth and breastfeeding and all things baby in great detail.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can find a place where people are happy to talk about their experiences with you Bea, because I find that birth is a beautiful miraculous amazing experience that I am sad to never experience again. ((Hugs))
thanks michelle:) my mum friends and i do talk about labour quite a bit. I guess i was thinking about mothers telling daughters and sisters telling sisters and aunties telling nieces. Those sorts of collective birthing experiences are common in alot of cultures but sadly not our western one. I'm sorta in this crazy romantic phase of birthing and labour, hope it lasts through the labour though;) thanks for your comment xx
ReplyDeleteYou should a book I own called 'Rediscovering Birth' by Sheila Kitzinger, you'd LOVE it. It looks at birth practices and traditions across history and different cultures.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you btw, as you know :)
Bea, you really hit the nail on the head for me. I hate Western attitudes about birth and this is a subject really close to my heart. I've made it my mission to hear all I can about women's individual experiences, and I really appreciate hearing the wonderful side of birth because the nasty side is certainly the norm in most conversations. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! Jenna
ReplyDeleteBTW I think I need to get myself a blogging profile! Love Jenna
ReplyDeleteWell you just need to share your stories with me so I know all about it before I embark on it (not that I will be embarking on it anytime in the near future but you know what I mean). xx
ReplyDeleteIt's funny - I have mostly negative childbirth experiences with positive outcomes. I would have found it hugely helpful for someone to be able to tell me that even if things go wrong they can still turn out alright and with a healthy child you won't really care. To be told that needing help is not failure. But my experience is that no one wants to hear from someone who is hugely grateful for medical intervention. No one appreciates words on how awesome an epidural was. I have been 'shut up' when discussing my experience in case it scares someone or worse still, encourages others to 'give in' and have pain relief. I have been left with a sense of failure. A childbirth leper. People want to hear 'nice' stories but that doesn't prepare anyone for a 'not nice' experience.
ReplyDeleteCrystal.